Well over the past few months we have collected some of our favourites, and here they are in one place for your viewing pleasure! And if you don’t know what Game of Thrones is, get on it!

Was a little unsure about posting it as I don’t want to give away all my new found knowledge, but I am sure you will agree it is pretty cool.

I believe the original is from chacha.

As a result, I have spent this week living on the ESA allowance of £95 to see how hard it would actually be. My weeks diary of highs and lows is as follows;

DAY ONE – Monday 20th June – Balance £95

I’ll firstly make the note that although I had to go to work, I would obviously be too sick to do so if I was on ESA! I headed into work on Monday, with a belly full of cereal, (which I already had in the cupboard – is that cheating?) and hitched a lift off the missus. Upon lunch times arrival I thought I would attempt to be industrious as utilise the free half chicken I had on my Nando’s loyalty card. I called Nando’s before I left work (because I’m cool like that) and some 10 or so minutes later sauntered down to collect my chicken, grabbing a can of Lilt on the way. At the counter I pulled out my loyalty card only to discover I’d already claimed for the half chicken. So I owed the balance of £6.75. Good start. The rest of the day was financially indifferent, and I got a ride home with the missus.

My Nandos card. I Had the half chicken on the 6/5. Damn

DAY TWO – Tuesday 21st June – Balance £87.45

Today, myself and the good lady are on different shifts, so much to my disappointment I have to get up early to get the bus. This is £4 return followed by the train, which stings me for £6.10. I get to work and work through until lunch. My train ticket is a return, so I get back home after work with no further charges. I decide I fancy a walk to Tesco to see if any bargains can be had. Bearing in mind it is an hour round trip on foot to the Super market, one would have thought it would be a good idea to make a point of obtaining some supplies for the week. Alas, I return with 3 varieties of crisps and a pot of hummus- a scoop at £4.60. Much to my dismay, when I finally get back and check what I actually have for dinner, there is nothing in the cupboard besides pasta and peanut butter. The culinary delight of plain pasta it is then. Yum.

DAY THREE – Wednesday 22nd June – Balance £72.75

I ride with the wife to be again as we are on the same shift times. I have cereal for breakfast, a simple packed lunch, dinner at home, and forgive myself for thinking I’m getting the hang of this living on the super cheap thing. I even resist the temptation to spend when everyone at work gets a cake at lunch and I get asked if I want one. I. Like. Cake. They obviously taunt me with their cakes in the most mean spirited way for encouragement.

DAY FOUR – Thursday 23rd June – Balance £72.75

I have the day off today, and so in the interest of fairness and to give myself a bit of room for manoeuvre I do exactly nothing all day, spending no money. Instead I break down what it would cost me for rent, council tax, bills, TV license, car insurance, petrol, phone bill, food etc per week. Realistically, this task is absolutely impossible. I reside myself to the fact that I need to contribute to petrol, so as the good lady put £40 in to last the week, I give her half. The fab folks we live with don’t charge us much for food & board and it equates to £25 a week. Do the maths. So, as much as I didn’t do anything today, I’m £45 down, but I have paid my way.

DAY FIVE – Friday 24th June – Balance £27.75

Today, I drive to work as the little lady is off. I have come prepared with the lunchbox of all lunchboxes courtesy of the good people we are living with. It’s the little victories that make life worth living! My manager asks me what I’m up to during the day. “Nothing” I reply. “I can’t afford it – I’m living on £95 remember.” This reminds me how much this task is both teaching me restraint and sucks in equal quantities.

If Carlsberg did Lunchboxes…

DAY SIX – Saturday 25th June – Balance £27.75

Cereal AGAIN for breakfast. Got a ride to work, but the good lady is on the late shift. So following the routine as normal, I have lunch, and when I finish I have a sandwich and snack from M&S which costs me £3.99. I then have 2 hours to kill before she finishes, so I decide to go for a solo cinema trip to see Kung Fu Panda 2. The price of cinema really is extortion, especially when you’re living on a budget. £7.90, wow. I avoided the popcorn and pick & mix. I get home and get cooked an EPIC giant Yorkshire pudding filled with steak mash and vegetables.

DAY SEVEN – Sunday 26th June – Balance £15.86

Searing hot weather means I want to head away for the weekend, however a lack of funds prevents me from escaping anywhere. The garden is picturesque however! I treat everyone to a 99 flake in a wafer cone with sauce. This kills £5.50 of my balance. I have just over £10 left so I donate the remainder to a good friends cycling trip for charity.

It’s my last day living on ESA so I draw up what it would have cost me to live at my last apartment every week, just to put the severity of this task (without any help from the fiancé or the good folk’s affordable hospitality) into perspective.

Outgoings (My Share, Cost per week)
Rent - £62.50
Council Tax - £6.25
Bills – £5
Petrol – £20
Food - £25
Car Insurance – £19
TV & NET – £3.50
Phone Bill – £10
Total – £151.25

It’s just not feasible. If I did go on long term sick leave, the ESA allowance would not cover my monthly outgoings and would as a result would make for a seriously stretched income, and affect my quality of life in the most basic sense; less food, less mobility through less use of the car, and needing a smaller and cheaper apartment.

I have an increased respect for the challenge faced by individuals who have to get by on Employment and Support Allowance, and especially those who may not have a support network in place to help them out.
For more information on income protection, please see

www.unum.co.uk/askunum

Or check out

www.which.co.uk/money/insurance/reviews-ns/income-protection/how-ip-works/

This blog was produced for Average Joes Blog by Sheldon Smillie to a brief agreed with Unum. Payment made by Unum restricted to ESA allowance and a charitable donation to the Average Joes Blog charity of choice. All editorial overseen and controlled by Sheldon Smillie.

If you’re anything like us, you may want a few hints and tips as to what to get him, other than that amusing card that pokes fun at his grey hairs, his tight wallet or his obsession with cars and football. In which case, we have compiled as comprehensive a list for inspiration as is possible:

- razors – get him shaving again

- beard trimmers – if he won’t shave it, at least make him trim it

- hair dye – the grey hairs won’t just magically disappear

- power tools – the classic gift to sit in the shed unused

- socks – standard gift but readily shunned by the recipient

- ties – if he is still wearing them avoid pretty patterns and cartoons, simple is best

- cufflinks – easy gift, but make sure he owns shirts that required them

- an umbrella – this is England, it will get plenty of use after all

- a bottle of whiskey – convince him to share it if you’ve really splashed out

- beer – grab from the service station on the way home

- gadgets – that he can’t understand and refuses to learn how to use

- a bowling ball – its just random enough to confuse him into thinking its great

- a dart board – when he’s drinking he needs a target to throw pointy objects at

- money – tell him to spoil himself, then ask if you can borrow some cash

- books – some people like to read, and if not, books make great kindling

- t-shirts – avoid ones with offensive slogans or images… if possible

- shirts – try and bring the old man into modern day fashion

- pants – lots of older men don’t wear boxers (not that I go round checking)

- vouchers – he’ll give them to the wife most likely since he isn’t much of a shopper

- an experience day – that is likely never to get used

- gardening stuff – a trowel, a spade, hedge cutters, some plants… a chainsaw?

- a mug – another classic that’ll get chucked with the rest you’ve given him each year

- dinner – this would mean spending the evening with him though, are you ready?

- Swiss army knife – a great gift, but he won’t be able to get any tools out of it!

- CDs – since they aren’t quite up on mp3′s, but have moved on from cassettes

- sporting goods – they need the exercise, lets be honest

- golf related stuff – separate to the above as its hardly real exercise

- wine – easy if he is uneducated, costly if a connoisseur… willing to gamble?

- a corkscrew – because the wine you bought needs to be opened somehow

- hip flask – so he can drink everywhere now

- marmite – does he love it or hate it?

- key finder – so he can whistle to find the keys he’s lost… in his pocket

- Viagra – actually, that’s a terrible gift to give your father! Shame on you.

- slippers – tell him he is a feckless layabout these days

- dressing gown – same as above, but can’t even be bothered to dress either

- after shave – Old Spice? Whatever you buy he’s unlikely to wear it

- a satnav – because he never asks for directions

- DVDs – because war documentaries and old football matches never grow old

Any more ideas? Share them here or with us on Twitter…

Tank Battles

The UK is one of the best places in Europe to flex your stag do’s military might and muscle. Tanks range from small armoured vehicles to state-of-the-art of warfare Chieftains, and while it isn’t cheap, you can make a whole day of it and end up with a pretty invincible story at the end of it. You will find centres scattered all around the UK.

Coasteering

Earn your night out with an action-packed trip to the coast for a spot of group coasteering – Never done it? It will involve climbing, leaping, scaling and exploring the intertidal zones and caves and battling the waves around the coast, in full wetsuit and safety regalia. May sound a bit healthy but we can assure you it’s great fun! Gimptastic!

coasteering image credit: Preseli Venture.

Recording Studio

Cast your mind back to the days of Top of the Pops, marvelling at the adoring crowds of ladies screaming for boy bands, and thinking to yourself: ‘I could do that’. If you’re catering for a group of musical folk, then why not hire a recording studio and producer and put a tune together? You’ll end up with a lasting musical memento, have a blast and, depending on your talent and how much work you put in beforehand, you could have a hit on your hands. Screaming fans optional, and probably cost extra.

007 Day

James Bond – that eternal icon of suave masculine sophistication – is the polar opposite of your usual stag-do participant, and a Bond-themed stag is a classy alternative to the usual predictable shenanigans. There are various Bond-themed options, involving casinos and boats all the way up to ultra-classy Aston Martin driving experiences. Even just a suit / bow-tie evening will add a little glamour to the evening, and sure to get the attention of some potential miss moneypenny’s…

AK47 Shooting

If you’re bound for Europe on your trip, then you could take your stag party to a range to shoot targets with the legendary Kalashnikov automatic assault rifle. Okay, there are more intellectually wholesome pursuits, but it’s a historic weapon and it’d be a rapid-fire barrel of laughs. Forget COD, this is real life shooting of an AK47, hell if you are in Eastern Europe, for a few euro extra they will probably let you shoot each other!

Track Day

And while we’re on the subject of playing your dream games in real life, what stag do activity would be anywhere near as thrilling as a track day – driving your pick of the best supercars and racing your friends round a world famous circuit? It’s like GT but for real! Tip: keep an eye out for driving experience vouchers and offers to reduce the cost. Vrrooooooooooooom!

Hovercraft Racing

Yes! Not only can you pay to drive a hovercraft over land and sea, but you can take your stag group and race them too. Surprisingly easy, definitely fun, there are loads of permutations from out-and-out racing on land to river-borne thrills. Slightly harder to find, but well worth it if you find a good location.

Paragliding

For a truly elemental and serene take on the stag do, you also need to consider paragliding. You can go in tandem or fly solo and you’ll experience the thrill of being free as a bird… in your harness, beneath a soaring cloth wing. Not for the faint hearted!

Falconry

Bird and man in perfect harmony! For a stag that’s keener on country pursuits, falconry offers your group the chance to get up close and personal and bond with one of nature’s most impressive beady-eyed psychos for an unforgettable feathered encounter, that won’t get him into trouble with the future Mrs. Flat caps and Barbour jackets are a must if you actually do this!!

Curling

Referred to disparagingly as ‘housework on ice’, there’s actually much fun and satisfaction to be had from the precision, balance and teamwork of curling. Plus, you’ll be able to talk knowledgably about it come the next Winter Olympics, to the amazement of all. If all else fails, speed and power will win the day! When else are you going to give it a try?

This is a sponsored blog post from Silverstone racetrack, who offer a range of driving experiences on their world famous circuit in Northamptonshire.

In the past dating sites have had a certain stigma attached to them. Many felt they were holding a sign, saying ‘I can’t get a date’. However over the past few years the tides have been changing with a growing number of young, beautiful women signing up for sites, aiming to find their man rather than going to some little grotty club on a Saturday night. I know countless single, female friends who are on such sites, some freely admit it while others don’t, but we can assure you that they are on there! And in the most part they are hot as well! So is it time men swallowed their pride and signed up? Well, we have done some investigation to find out…

We selected Singles Warehouse as our chosen field of battle. it looks cool, clean and has a youngish feel to it, including a regularly updated blog which we like (the series called ‘single girl in the city’ is worth a read, no idea who she is, but if you are out there get in touch!!). They don’t spend millions on TV advertising like some bigger, well known sites and this suited us. After signing up, everything seemed pretty simple and clear so we were confident even we would be able to use it. After uploading a couple of pictures and of course some general spiel about ourselves we found it to be pretty simple and the response from support was quick (they human check all picture and information uploads it seems, great to keep out time wasters and spammers). We browsed through to see what the talent was like (imagine walking round your local bar or club) and then upgraded our account to full member (just like buying a drink!).

We signed up with our hometown in Norwich, which we flipped part way to London to give a fair representation of different size cities. It’s worth noting that they have also just launched a US dating site as well, though obviously it didn’t seem viable for a date! So what did we find?

London was as you would expect, large numbers of pretty much whatever takes your fancy, they were more open to conversation and the like, in a nutshell it was much easier. We would be contacted quite randomly by women who seemed genuine, and there definitely wasn’t anyone I suspect of not being real. They were forward and obviously confident, I would imagine using dating sites for a while. Some of them were looking for ‘the one’ while others seemed much more happy with a random f*** buddy for the evening. One girl we met had been on 6 dates in 2 weeks, unsure of our safety we swiftly made our excuses and a quick exit…
Norwich was slightly different, although quite a few potential ‘dates’ not as many were recently active or online a lot which meant it was hard to strike up a conversation with someone. Many of the contacts initiated by others tended to be older women, and while I don’t mind that, you could tell the difference between Norwich and London. From what we could gauge and speaking to people, the women here got many many more messages than those in London, I guess it’s a numbers game. It just proves that your profile and banter must be top notch, but hey, we got a few dates, so I am pretty sure you can too?

As with all websites, there will be some people you really don’t want to talk to for obvious reasons; however in the whole the quality seems to be pretty high. The thing to remember with dating websites is that in the most part, everyone is there for the same reason. They actually want a date and they want to be with someone, so if that’s you then I suggest you swallow your pride and sign up right now!

We have a few tips for a great profile!

• A good picture is a must, even more than one to show you have a whole head / body… Don’t go and post pictures of your failing abs though, seriously? This is not bebo…
• A good and honest profile which is mildly interesting and not too short. Spend some time writing and thinking about. Maybe even have it checked? However DO NOT seem desperate, avoid talking about your STDs, debts and your ex missus.

First impressions count, make it a good one!

There you have it, we suggest you go and give it a whirl (for free of course) now! www.singleswarehouse.co.uk

Lastly, keep an eye out next week, teaming up with Singles Warehouse we will be giving you the chance to win an iPad2… Best follow or like us to keep updated!

Where did your fun girlfriend go?

Forgive me for the generalisation, but we’re all human. Everyone knows what it’s like to get caught up in the chase of the beginning of a relationship, all the spark and excitement. It’s a game of two players, each person taking the lead for a while. Maybe your girlfriend was never fun in the first place; maybe you just thought she was!

Be you a gentlemen or a lady, the truth is, predictability and being used to someone bores a lot of us. It’s not that we don’t care; we just like to be kept on our toes. Love the novelty and hate it when it wears off- it’s a story as old as The Bible.

Now here’s the other tale as old as time, sometimes you get out what you put in. If she’s suddenly become no fun, maybe it’s because you have got moody and boring. Chances are you’ve assumed that she is just like the rest of ‘those women’. Dead set on pinning you down? Desperate for your babies? Trying to ruin your career? Am I right or am I right?

The fact of the matter is she probably wants to go out and party with you like it is 1995 and would kill for a few more thrills. However, with Mr.Assumption over there guessing wrong, she didn’t even have the chance to stop being fun, because you already decided it for her.

So let us take a look at the facts, either you were so caught in by your lady’s beauty that you never realised your girlfriend’s personality was as plain as Jane all along. Or maybe you’re not playing the game right and it’s actually you that has become boring. Do yourself a favour, show her some excitement and she will undoubtedly reward you well. After all real fun girls, can not hide themselves for long!

Need help, have other thoughts? Why not let me know in the comments below, chat with a tweet tweet or find us on that great big Facebook. Remember this is my very first post on your beloved manblog, so pleeeease go easy on me!

Photo from ElliotinWonderland.

For all of you in a relationship take heed: -

Break from the norm

If you and your loved one regularly go out to eat at Nandos and then strut off to the cinema to enjoy a film – DO NOT DO THIS ON VALENTINES DAY. No matter how much you may enjoy a chicken pitta and a dose of silver screen goodness; Chances are your other half may not be so excited at a Peri-Peri delight.  If you are going out for a meal, find a good restaurant that serves her favourite food and book early (like now!) – you don’t want to be running around on the evening of Feb 13th and have no where to go (all been there, joe).  Better still if you are on a budget you could cook her favourite meal at home, add in some wine, dessert and who knows you might get a treat of your own – but if you have the culinary skills of a blind penguin, eating out would be the better option.

Flowers

Now apparently every girl loves flowers.  What they don’t love however, are flowers that are bought from a service station on the side of the road because ‘the roses in the flower shop were ‘too effin expensive’.  Grow a pair and spend that little bit more on some roses instead of those damp daisies, and you will benefit at the end of the night. You can get some pretty good flowers for less than £20, I think a supermarket done a deal last year with 12 red roses for around a tenner. Why not buy 2 (dozens, not roses), re-arrange, say you got them from the shop down the road (who charge £50) and lay back and enjoy your goodboy treat!!

Hotels

If you are taking your lady away for an evening of fun, what she doesn’t have at the top of her mind is going to spend it in a cut price Travelodge or Premier Inn.  Who wants to be sleeping in a bed knowing full well that Lenny Henry has jumped all over your sheets.  Sure, get a deal somewhere but make sure its a decent rating and has room service. If it has a spa as well, you can relax by the pool with her and all the other women in swimsuits…

Valentines Spa Hotel

For you Singletons the two unwritten rules (and a bonus idea!) of Valentines day are: -

Don’t call your Ex

How ever much you think its a good idea to call your Ex on Valentines day to rekindle that romance. 99.99% of the time this will only end in embarrassment and regret. It shows you are desperate and you haven’t really moved on, and we know both are not true! You can text her and say happy valentines, but if she ask you what you’re doing just say you have some casual plans and turn her down. It’s time to start showing her who’s boss!

Don’t make it a first date

Valentines day is not the day to be going out on a first date.  Every lady that goes out on a first date on Valentines day will expect it to be love at first sight and a happily ever after event just like every soppy film she has watched in her lifetime. Not only this, it shows you have no plans on Valentines and you are not in demand. Take our advice, tell her you are meeting some friends and go the next day or day before and save yourself. Time it right, you might even get a special deal on a rose..? haha

Not even on Valentines Day buddy...

Don’t be afraid to go out for a few beers

If a few of you are single, why not head out for a few beers to a bar? Preferably not one with couples dining mind! If you spot a girl, just go for it. Your odds are greatly increased, she is either not in a relationship so feeling particular lonely, or she is in a relationship but her BF is away or doesn’t do valentines. Either way her self-esteem is low so your odds have just doubled!!

Any other great tips for us? Or maybe you have a horror story to share? Why not get in touch with in comments below.

Lastly, but by no means least.

What was Hitlers first name?
Heil

From the girls;

Roses

Yes it is a touch cliche’ but it is a sure fire winner! Why not by her 12 roses? Think they are expensive? Well they are a touch but you can pick up a dozen pink roses from Tesco for less than £30 including delivery. They are even Fairtrade…

12 Pink roses for less than £30

Champagne
How about some personalised, quality, pink champagne for your Valentine? At £37 per bottle, including personal message, an image, drawing or logo and gift wrapping.

Jewellery
Always a winner and something to suit any budget. How about these White Gold Cubic Zirconia Knot Earrings tipping the balance at a touch over £25.

Earrings for Valentines at £25

Or how about pushing the boat out a touch further with this Vivienne Westwood Tiny Orb Pendant coming in at £105.

Vivienne Westwood Tiny Orb Pendant

Personalised Valentines Card
If you are on a budget, how about going for a personalised Valentines Card from someone like Moonpig. it shows you put that touch more thought into it, even though you didn’t…

From the Boy’s

Lingerie
Always a winner? Well in our eye’s it is! If you want to keep things pretty low key, you could go for your standard Black Lace Lingerie Set at less than £20.

Black Lingerie

Valentines Maid Outfit

iPad
As with most of the blokes choices, you will no doubt appreciate this just as much, if not more. it will be late, but you could always order the new iPad from Apple.

Apple iPad for Valentines

Invite her single friend round
Girls love girly nights right? Well why not make Valentines a special night for everyone. Tell her you didn’t want her hot single friend spending the night alone, so you thought it would be nice to invite her round for food, champagne, lingerie…. This is what is commonly known as a winner!!!!

Valentines threesome

Any other tips? Just let us know and we will grow the post!