This is our post from last year, check out the comments (alot of them!) for loads of other ones. Props to everyone involved.
P.S we will be re-launching the blog in July so stay tuned, bookmark, friend, like or follow us to stay in the know – Joe
Firstly, if you have been in a coma (no pun intended) over the last 12 hours you may not have heard that unfourtunately the legend that is Michael Jackson passed away last night in an LA hospital. Now don’t get my wrong, i think the guy is a legend and changed the face (sorry) of music over the last 20 years! But every cloud has a silver lining, CD and memorabilia sales will go up, and we have been inundated with Michael Jackson jokes.
This may be borderline but, if we don’t laugh, we might cry (honestly). So here goes (some of the best new ones are in the comments section, props to people posting!);
Michael Jackson killed himself last night after he found out boys to men was a band not a delivery service – PW, Facebook
Doctors believe Michael Jacksons heart attack was due to a hereditary problem. They think its the result of a defective billy gene – @Sebwebber
RIP Michael Jackson, he touched to many people, albeit most of them children…
While in a coma doctors were waiting for Michael Jackson to show signs of life and his heart ‘beat it’
I have two Michael Jackson Tickets for sale, January – AT, Facebook
Whats the difference between Alex Ferguson and Michael Jackson? Alex Ferguson will be playing Giggs next year – JC, text
And there there was 4…
Just read his funeral arrangements, he’ll be melted down & made into plastic toys. That way kids will play with him for a change – CY, Facebook
I genuinely feel sorry for Michael Jackson ‘s family. The decision to bury, cremate or recycle cannot be an easy choice to make – TJ, Facebook
Only something like this could get Uri Gellar back on television – MH, Facebook
There was news that doctor’s were taking bets on what colour MJ’s cock is. All bets are now of as pediatrician’s have been reported to have inside information – BF, Facebook
I heard they are having to double the seating at Micheal’s funerals because children under 12 have to be accompanied by an adult – BF, Facebook
What do jacko and santa have in common? They both like to empty their sacks for little children – MR, Facebook
After Michael Jacksons sudden death Gary Glitter has offered to cover some of his dates, Henry aged 10, William aged 12 and Joel aged 13 – CLS, Facebook
and these courtesy of @jackojokes;
Condolences to the Jackson family, but could i also remind you that collection day for recyclable plastics is Monday.
Michael Jacksons last wish was to be cremated and his ashes put into an etch-a-sketch so kids could still play with him.
Conformation just came through that Michael Jackson died of food poisoning. Apparently he ate some 12 year old nuts.
Out of respect, McDonalds have released the McJackson burger. 50 year old meat between 10 year old buns.
Reports that Michael Jackson died of a heart attack are incorrect.In fact he went to the childrens hospital and had a stroke.
When ambulance officers arrived at MJ’s home they found class A drugs in the kitchen, and Class 4B in his bedroom.
Madonna has paid her respects to the jackson family and wants to know how much they want for the kids.
All MJ’s upcoming dates are now cancelled, including John aged 5, and Ryan aged 9.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett?……about 3 hours.
- If you have anymore please post them below or say what you like and you don’t like.
Please do not take this post as being disrespectful! We are celebrating his life in a way he loved!!
Tags: Humor, Jokes, Michael Jackson
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Apparently Michael Jackson died after choking on some twelve year old nuts.
I hear McDonalds is gonna introduce a sandwich in Michael Jackson’s memory called the McJackson, it will have 50 yr. old meat in a 13 yr. old bun…
Oh my god……..how sick.love it, keep it cummin
What does the average 5 year old and Michael Jackson have in common? They both like blowing bubbles.
mixed reports of michael jacksons death are coming in, 50 kids have volunteered to identify the bodyas they have had first hand experience of seeing michael stiff
Michael Jackson’s dead???
You’d think there’d be something on the news about it…
police found new lyrics to a micheal jackson
song in his room its a cover of elton johns
dont let your son go down on me
Guys,
Watching a documentry which is on Channel 5 (In the UK) it showed MJ saying there is not enough love in the world and that he had no problems with sleeping with other children which were not related to him….
MJ walked round Fulham football club on the pitch and the funniest thing i ever see was the whole stand chanting – Sex case, sex case hang him hang him hang him….
Can someone tell me, why the hell didnt anyone shoot him years ago..
Latest.
Michael Jackson’s UK tour will still go ahead as planned. A spokesman said “So much of Michael was saved by the doctors after his surgical procedures that we are confident of being able to put something together.”
What’s the difference between a grocery bag and Michael Jackson?
Ones made of plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other is used to caryy your shopping items home in.
What did Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds?
There were 20 of them.
On asking his children their thoughts on their fathers passing away , the children all said that it,s the best nights sleep they have had for years.
MJ’s not worried about being black or white, ’cause he’s blue now !
Why did Michael Jackson convert to Islam on deathbed?
He heard that he would be greeted in heaven by seventy two year old virgins.
MJ’s heart found out it was black..so it quit working
the man just died… say something nice…
Michael Jackson is an AMAZING Person , he has a caring heart and will ALWAYS be the best Entertainer. Such a genius and will never be replaced. My Daughter and I attended his 45th B’Day Party and he was so sweet to talk to, he spoke to me about Glasgow, Scvotland, Edinburgh and he really liked it there on his visits.
People that think he is weird or wacko, I think that is sad. Don”t Judge a book by its cover. There are many werd people out in the world. He was loved for being the Greatest Performer and for being such a caring person.
He was done wrong in his short life.
His Childhood was taken away from him and My heart goes out to Michael Jackson.
R.I.P Michael
I LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON
AND HE DOES NOT HARM CHILDREN
It is such a great loss that a man with great talent like Michael Jackson dies. RIP King of POP.
I hear that they’re going to salvage the plastic from Jackson and turn it into bubble-wrap so that he can still be the “king of pop”.
Michael Jackson is my favorite pop artist ever since i was a child. He is truly the King of Pop and i am saddened by this news.
The police investigation revealed that the previous day Michael returned home to find Bubbles had moved back in and tearfully admitted giving him a way was a terrible mistake… A heartbreaking reunion!
when he got to heaven he saw elvis presly and he sed to presley oh i married your daughter, presley says “oh thank the lord i thought shed married a black man”
What was mjs last hit….
THE FLOOR
What’s the difference between a plastic bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made out of plastic and is dangerous to kids, the other can be used to carry groceries in.
When Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven, God decided to grant her one wish, and asked her what it was.
To this she replied, “I want you to keep all of the world’s children safe.”
Then God killed Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson’s death is under speculation for being a suicide – because apparently, a week earlier, doctors told him the only way he could get any whiter was in death.
Probably posted already, but pffft, whatever.
True, Michael Jackson really was a great talent and the King of Pop, but that doesn’t change the fact everyone was probably cracking jokes about him the day he died, anyway.
michael jackson has died.
early reports say he has died of skin cancer, but his family has said”dont blame it on the sunshine. blame it on the boogie”
Michael Jackson’s girlfriend was really upset when he died. First her parents leave her in Portugal and now this…
Hmm. Is it true? :-)
When Michael Jackson got to heaven he saw Elvis Presley and he said to Presley, “I married your daughter.” Presley says, “Oh, thank the Lord, I thought she married a black man.”
How arr Ryan and Michael Jackson different? One goes to elementary schools to get kids, and one goes to elementary schools to take grammar lessons.
are*
So I was watching TV last night, channel hopping as you do.
Flipped over and thought “Great. Cool Runnings is on”.
Imagine my disappointment when I realised it was the Jackson family wheeling him onto the stage.
elvis bumped into MJ in heven, he asked him”was it you married my daughter?”. yes says michael. elvis replies, “thank god, someone told me she married a ni***r
Even when Jackson was still around it was damned hard to tell the difference between Death and Natural Movement.
mj isnt dead hes hiding with maddie mccann
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
From a catalogue.
What’s white and in Michael Jackson’s pocket?
His other hand.
What’s the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
Richard Pryor got burnt on coke. Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi.
What’s the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Where is Michael Jackson’s other glove?
In Brooke Shields’ pants.
Have you heard about the foundation that Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor have started?
It’s called the Ignited Negro College Fund.
How do you neuter Micheal Jackson?
Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song.
What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
Blowing his first nose.
Who is the greatest man ever?
Michael Jackson, because he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up to become a rich white woman in Europe.
Little known fact: While in San Diego in July 1989, Dan Quayle called Michael Jackson and congratulated him on the 20th anniversary of his moonwalk.
LISA-MARIE JOKES
Did you hear about Michael Jackson marrying Lisa-Marie Presley?
If Elvis were dead, he’d turn over in his grave.
What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Micheal Jackson when he proposed? “Yes, I’ll marry you. But promise me one thing — no kids!”
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
About two dress sizes.
Comments overheard at the Michael Jackson/Lisa-Marie Presley wedding:
“Well, I’m pretty sure one of them is a virgin.”
“I don’t think that’s the real groom; it’s just a decoy.”
What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night?
“Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own.”
What were Lisa-Marie’s newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
She suspects he’s using her to get to Elvis’ bones.
He touches her kids more than he touches her.
Apparently we’re going to be hearing the pitter-patter of little feet in the Jackson household . . . yep, Lisa Marie’s going to be leaving town for a while.
If Michael and Lisa-Marie’s marriage was a TV show, what would it be called?
Home Unimprovement
Beauty and the Beast
Gimme A Break
That’s Incredible
Really Big, Gigantic, Humungous House on the Prairie
Lisa-Marie’s marriage to Michael Jackson is the worst news for the King since the invention of the child-proof cap.
What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
“Boy, that’s a relief. I though she married a black guy!”
Hey, I want to see some jokes about Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley.
They are the joke.
i’m kinda glad now me(13) and my sister(2) are a bit safer
LOL Amber class, thanks for taking the time to post!
Thank you for a great blog, I will be sure to bookmark your site and check later… Usually I don’t leave a comment but I wanted to let you know that I really like your site
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