What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Micheal Jackson when he proposed? “Yes, I’ll marry you. But promise me one thing — no kids!”

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
About two dress sizes.

Comments overheard at the Michael Jackson/Lisa-Marie Presley wedding:

“Well, I’m pretty sure one of them is a virgin.”
“I don’t think that’s the real groom; it’s just a decoy.”
What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night?
“Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own.”

What were Lisa-Marie’s newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?

He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
She suspects he’s using her to get to Elvis’ bones.
He touches her kids more than he touches her.
Apparently we’re going to be hearing the pitter-patter of little feet in the Jackson household . . . yep, Lisa Marie’s going to be leaving town for a while.

If Michael and Lisa-Marie’s marriage was a TV show, what would it be called?

Home Unimprovement
Beauty and the Beast
Gimme A Break
That’s Incredible
Really Big, Gigantic, Humungous House on the Prairie
Lisa-Marie’s marriage to Michael Jackson is the worst news for the King since the invention of the child-proof cap.

What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
“Boy, that’s a relief. I though she married a black guy!”

Hey, I want to see some jokes about Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley.
They are the joke.

i’m kinda glad now me(13) and my sister(2) are a bit safer

What’s white and in Michael Jackson’s pocket?
His other hand.

What’s the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
Richard Pryor got burnt on coke. Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi.

What’s the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
Michael Jackson has had more noses.

Where is Michael Jackson’s other glove?
In Brooke Shields’ pants.

Have you heard about the foundation that Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor have started?
It’s called the Ignited Negro College Fund.

How do you neuter Micheal Jackson?
Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song.

What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
Blowing his first nose.

Who is the greatest man ever?
Michael Jackson, because he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up to become a rich white woman in Europe.

Little known fact: While in San Diego in July 1989, Dan Quayle called Michael Jackson and congratulated him on the 20th anniversary of his moonwalk.