We’re a top bunch here at AJB (No really we are!). So to save you your blushes, mistakes and potentially mess up all chances of pleasing a lady on Valentines day we have compiled our definitive list of what NOT to do – so you don’t piss it up like others have before you (See told you we rock!).

What not to do on Valentines Day

For all of you in a relationship take heed: -

Break from the norm

If you and your loved one regularly go out to eat at Nandos and then strut off to the cinema to enjoy a film – DO NOT DO THIS ON VALENTINES DAY. No matter how much you may enjoy a chicken pitta and a dose of silver screen goodness; Chances are your other half may not be so excited at a Peri-Peri delight.  If you are going out for a meal, find a good restaurant that serves her favourite food and book early (like now!) – you don’t want to be running around on the evening of Feb 13th and have no where to go (all been there, joe).  Better still if you are on a budget you could cook her favourite meal at home, add in some wine, dessert and who knows you might get a treat of your own – but if you have the culinary skills of a blind penguin, eating out would be the better option.

Flowers

Now apparently every girl loves flowers.  What they don’t love however, are flowers that are bought from a service station on the side of the road because ‘the roses in the flower shop were ‘too effin expensive’.  Grow a pair and spend that little bit more on some roses instead of those damp daisies, and you will benefit at the end of the night. You can get some pretty good flowers for less than £20, I think a supermarket done a deal last year with 12 red roses for around a tenner. Why not buy 2 (dozens, not roses), re-arrange, say you got them from the shop down the road (who charge £50) and lay back and enjoy your goodboy treat!!

Hotels

If you are taking your lady away for an evening of fun, what she doesn’t have at the top of her mind is going to spend it in a cut price Travelodge or Premier Inn.  Who wants to be sleeping in a bed knowing full well that Lenny Henry has jumped all over your sheets.  Sure, get a deal somewhere but make sure its a decent rating and has room service. If it has a spa as well, you can relax by the pool with her and all the other women in swimsuits…

Valentines Spa Hotel

Valentines Spa Hotel

For you Singletons the two unwritten rules (and a bonus idea!) of Valentines day are: -

Don’t call your Ex

How ever much you think its a good idea to call your Ex on Valentines day to rekindle that romance. 99.99% of the time this will only end in embarrassment and regret. It shows you are desperate and you haven’t really moved on, and we know both are not true! You can text her and say happy valentines, but if she ask you what you’re doing just say you have some casual plans and turn her down. It’s time to start showing her who’s boss!

Don’t make it a first date

Valentines day is not the day to be going out on a first date.  Every lady that goes out on a first date on Valentines day will expect it to be love at first sight and a happily ever after event just like every soppy film she has watched in her lifetime. Not only this, it shows you have no plans on Valentines and you are not in demand. Take our advice, tell her you are meeting some friends and go the next day or day before and save yourself. Time it right, you might even get a special deal on a rose..? haha

Valentines Date

Not even on Valentines Day buddy...

Don’t be afraid to go out for a few beers

If a few of you are single, why not head out for a few beers to a bar? Preferably not one with couples dining mind! If you spot a girl, just go for it. Your odds are greatly increased, she is either not in a relationship so feeling particular lonely, or she is in a relationship but her BF is away or doesn’t do valentines. Either way her self-esteem is low so your odds have just doubled!!

Any other great tips for us? Or maybe you have a horror story to share? Why not get in touch with in comments below.


Tickled your fancy?


Latest



Subscribe